Pinterest

I'm on this bandwagon.  I'm having the best ride too.

I'll tell you why.

We're on a budget, I mean, who isn't these days?  I love changing things in my house.  My husband can attest to that.  I think I have him painting a different room every few months.  I can't help myself.  Our home is a work in progress and I'm not quite comfortable here yet.  By the time I get there I'm sure it will be time to move, but the good news is we'll be able to take almost all of our projects with us.

I'm very careful about that.  Basically I'm staging my home to be sold..but only a few things will have to stay.  Like the deck we'll put on, the new kitchen..which I'm convinced will single handedly sell this house.  I'm dying for a $400 light from Pottery Barn.  If I'm lucky enough to get my hands on it..that baby is going where ever I go, but the deck will stay.

I've had some great dinners thanks to Pinterest.  Next up we're going for some small projects that have a big impact.  Right now I still have two dozen wine bottles sitting in my dining room waiting to be made into tiki torches that will attach to our privacy fence.  If I could find more replacement wicks that project would move along a lot faster.

Tonight I was looking specifically at bedroom decor on there.  A few months, maybe even a year back, my husband decided he wanted our bedroom downstairs.  We went from having about 800 square feet and a king sized bed to 144 square feet and a queen.  Needless to say...it's not working.  I've lost more than half my dresser space, a ton of closet space...and don't even get me started on the loss of sleeping space.

We hemmed and hawed over moving back to the larger room.  Currently occupied by an electric fireplace, a ping pong table, couch, and tv entertainment center.  All for the kids, that coincidentally never use any of it.  The cost is what was getting us.  We have to go out and buy all new furniture.  Have any of you priced king sized beds lately?  It's ridiculous. 

Cue Pinterest. 

I've managed to come up with a few ideas that I'm hoping make it more affordable.  It's going to take a lot of work but in the end I think it's going to be great to have something so customized without the custom price tag.  My husband and I have a very different idea of what we like but I think there's a way to blend it.  It's called rustic chic.  Nick is more of a straight up country look kind of guy.  That stuff in my house makes me want to vomit.  If there's ever a cow (unless it's a cute little cream container) in my kitchen, smack me.  I'm all about the shabby chic.  I like comfortable and neutral with pops of color here and there. 

I'm hoping to combine a few different ideas that I've seen on there to give us both what we want for a cheap price.  Like the reclaimed barn door headboard.  We know a few old barns that are falling apart so this part should be easy enough, right?  That gives Nick his country.  I saw the idea of stapling fabric to box springs and adding furniture legs to give you a nice base without the need of a frame.  Bonus!  This is how I can add my shabby chic without spending a ton of extra money on a bed frame.

I can also hit up yard sales and Goodwill for some old dressers.  I can repaint them to match and voila!  New dressers without the new dresser price tag.  Snap up a great area rug somewhere.  This is where I'm sure I'll spend full price unless I get lucky at TJ Maxx or someone has a ton clearanced out but I'm okay with spending a bit of change as long as when I go, I can take it with me.

I'm excited about it.  It's going to give us something to do together that we'll both love when we're all done.

Have any of you actually made anything you've seen on Pinterest?  How'd it turn out? 

Those are my random Wednesday night thoughts.

Blur

That's this summer.  A blur.  It's gone so fast that I can barely keep up, I can feel it flying even as the days go by.  It's almost like I can't see the day clearly even as I'm living it.

::Sigh::

I hate to see it go.  Hopefully with the new season comes a new phase.  A new part of my life...one that involves my son being here with me.

I'm just awaiting that letter that'll tell me when our court day is so I can get ready.  I NEED to be ready, this isn't something I can be caught unawares about.

I'm finding that I'm torn, and panicky, and scared, and elated about the whole process.  I'm torn because the last time I talked to him he seems to be loving life all of a sudden down there.  He's happy about his teachers, his classes, the upcoming baseball season.  I get to be the asshole that wants to tear him away from all of that. 

I'm panicky for the same reasons.  I hope that deep down, when they want to talk to him, that he comes clean with them about the same stuff he's told me.  That he hates it down there.  He's not happy.  Normally when I talk to him he's so withdrawn and despondent about life.  Like he's just resigned to the fact that he doesn't care and has no control.  I have always hated hearing him like that.  He's so animated and full of life when he's at my house. 

I'm scared that he's going to hate me because he's finally happy.  I'm scared that this is all going to backfire and both of them will be taken away from me.  I'm scared that if I need to get a lawyer, I'm not going to be able to.  I can't just sit down and crap out $3000.  Lord, I wish I could..but I can't. 

I know I'm doing the best thing I can for him right now but it doesn't stop me from feeling like a not so atomic mom about it all.

I hope that he's here for Halloween because he's never allowed to trick or treat since he's been in Tennessee, I think he'd love it.  Get to run around like other kids and get all kinds of candy and treats, dress up and just have a lot of fun with it.  I want him home for Christmas so we can wake up and open stockings and just chill with each other.  I want them to all be able to fight like normal siblings instead of only talking every once in a blue moon on the phone. 

I'm tired of feeling like I have an appendage missing all the time.  I feel like half my heart and my right arm are just gone.  Like what they say are ghost pains...I feel it.  I know where they should be, but they're not.

I just need it to be over.  I just want him home so we can all enjoy fall..and every season that comes after, all together.