Relief.

That is what I feel.

Finally.  Good Goddess almighty, finally.

I'm pretty sure that to finally get us to this place I made a decision that worked for us but in the long run will kick us in the ass at some point.

I knew we just had to get through May..and with this being the year of whatever will be, will be..we rolled with it.  I made that promise to myself before the whole no overtime and job switch deal.  Either way I can say one thing.  That mentality is working for us so far.  Everything that has come at us has worked out in some way or another each and every time.  It has renewed my faith in the universe.

When I left my job at the hospital I forgot all about my retirement.  It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small either.  I, in the midst of all of this financial hell, got a letter about cashing it out.

So..I did what any other broke ass adult would do when left with a choice between another frozen dinner or being able to eat some damn chicken.  I cashed it out.  I'm sure in 40 years something will come up when I'm trying to retire and this measly little cash out will cause me to have to work an extra year...or next year during tax time.  I might even go so far as to say we'll feel it at both points. 

But dammit, I wanted some fresh chicken. 

At the beginning my husband fought me but as the bills were only slowly getting caught up and repair and medical bills were piling up (and let me tell you, we're not even sick people.  Dental exams, wisdom tooth extraction, and a basic yearly exam are effing expensive!) I felt we didn't have a choice unless we still wanted to feel it clear into December.

All I can say, two weeks later, is that was a welcome relief.  All of our bills are not only caught up but paid a month ahead, including our mortgage.  We were able to do some seriously expensive car repairs without throwing up..only a little nausea.  I also was able to get a new washing machine since the one we were using was at least 20 years old and wasn't draining so all of our "clean" clothes had a slight aroma that would remind one of a sewer. 

In the end the only things that I would consider "blowing" the money on was replacing the camera I sold and have regretted from the second I did it and a bottle of perfume.  To be fair even though I paid full price for the perfume there were so many gifts with purchase from things like M.A.C and LeMer and Cartier and a lot more..hell, I even got a double sided BBQ spatula tossed in for free, I really couldn't turn it down.  I've been waiting a year for a sale to buy it.  The freebies were good enough for me, who turns down a free BBQ spatula?

I don't recommend to the general public to cash out your retirement in exchange for smelling pretty but for us, it felt like the only choice we had to just be done with out predicament and still end up with savings. 

Overall I am happy.  I am finally back to sleeping good, on really clean sheets that smell like laundry soap.  I also had some real beef hotdogs for dinner tonight.  I've had my fill of chicken.

Life is good.