Serenity

You would think my life would be anything but serene right now.  My kids are always at each others throats, my house is a total disaster, I've been working a LOT of hours every week (I think I even forgot I had kids this week), and I don't think I've spent more than five minutes with my husband in almost a month.

It's serene because I'm seeing progress.  I'm seeing a LOT of progress.  We've managed to unbury ourselves from the biggest pile of past due bills I think I've ever seen.  It's serene because, for now, I'm still in a happy place when I get called in for some extra hours.  I've hit my goal of overtime days for January and then some.  I know a ton more is headed my way for February.  It's my hope that I can just bust my ass now, just for a few months and then I can ride out the summer enjoying my time at home, with my family.

I've had bumps.  Most people would think I was effing insane by what I consider bumps but a bump is a bump.  It's still really hard to figure this stuff out but we're plugging along. 

I've realized that I had a shopping addiction.  I still have a shopping addiction.  Thank Goodness for Pinterest and Target lists.  I can feel like I'm shopping in a way.  Find super cute things, fall for them, place them in the appropriate list and move on.  I'll get there.  Nick and I went on a date tonight.  Do you want to know what broke ass people do for dates?  We went for me to get the worst $10 haircut known to man and then walked around a little strip mall right next door..sporting my terrible haircut.  We walked around Target.  Have any of you been there?!  Have you seen ALL of their spring stuff?!!  It's amazing and it's beautiful and I want it.  I want it all.  I was saying just that to Nick as I was looking for new couch pillows to go with the new furniture that I plan to buy next year. 

Then the most amazing thing happend.  Nick looked at me and he said, "soon.  You'll be able to buy whatever you want soon."

Now you don't know my husband at all but normally he just walks quietly with me talking about work or video games or the kids or not saying anything at all.  He was very hard to convince about this Total Money Makeover.  Even though he's been through it with me once before, he was a skeptic.  What those words meant to me was...I've turned him into a believer.  He actually believes we're going to make it, we're going to hit all of our goals and get out of this huge ass mess we've gotten ourselves into.  He's finally, 100% on board with all of it and he sees that our sacrifices ARE making a difference!

That's when I realized how serene I am about the whole thing, it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would, giving up my shopping addiction. 

I walked right out of that store with a huge ass smile on my face...and didn't buy a damn thing.